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March 22 omg....2days to gooooooo omggggggg cant believe gna b goin Qatar on saturdayyyy!!! times gone soooooo fast!! aarrgghh!!! gonna b leavin friday nite inshaAllah... so friends... i'll b away for 2 weeks...dnt miss me too much!! hehe.... ofcourse i'll miss u!! (av, bubbles, nanana, et al)
well...me's tired... gna go sleep
gt anuva exam tmrw...ammiyah oral...oh joy...(!)
xxx aarrgghhh!!!failed todays exam for sure.... cudnt get my head around revision last night... dnt kno why.... got too much otha stuff on my mind... n truthfully.... i jus wanna get outa ere asap... 2days to go!!! n off to Qatar for 2 weeks! yaaaay!....so Qatar.... be prepared....lol...this gals gona party till the cows come home!! (lol.... Qatar.... wat cows? lol)....
well anyways... the exam went pretty bad.... n wat made it worse was that i was already worried abt tasneem...she lookd kinda upset abt sumthin.... n then... this bloody woman... the exam watsitcalled... she was hoverin ova me...like riiiight in front of me.... jus standin there...n like i get well agitated wen i got ppl hoverin anywhr near me... i jus wanted to scream at her!! like "woman get outa my face!!!" or sumthin.... but u kno me....madam too nice... so i jus ended up getin more p*ssed off.... n then ended up stabbin my exam paper....lol! the poor thing.... it hadnt dun anythin.... was my fault....awww..
neways.... thats it for now...
bbl or sumthin....
xxxxx March 20 ramblings....well...got a few things to say now... guess cos its like theres been a few things goin on....1stly wanna apologise to sum1... u kno who u r...dnt kno if ur even gna read this....but im sorry for the way things hav been n sorry the way things are now...u'll always be special to me....even if we dnt chat anymore....
hmmm..lemme think...wats next...ooh yeh...chatted to mummy to b today...awww shes so sweet...miss chattin to her....but bless...am glad shes happy....
next.... wanna say jazakallahu khair to bubbles.... thank u for sendin me the tracks from the closer than veins album....even tho they were only half tracks...lol...as i said.... i'll jus sing the rest to myself....lol...
n ermmm.....lastly....watchin the ring at the moment.....eeekkk the poor horse jus went overboard.....weirdddd film.... kinda scary....creepy actually *closes eyes*
xxxx a little high...a little low...god the title sounds like a song.... i was readin bubbles' blog today.... n its so weird...cos like sumtimes we seem to think on like totally the same level.... its nice to kno that im not the only one who feels like their imaan is on a rollercoaster ride...ups n dwns n weird 360 degree flipover-upside dwn thingys...like u sumtimes feel like ur on such a spiritual high..like u feel like alhamdulillah ive been a good person..or the best i can be....but then sumtimes the guilt jus seeps in n u feel like so low..u start to doubt urself n whether ur bein a good enuff person....n its like jus the littlest things will trigger it off... a conversation wit a person....or sumthin uve done or havnt done... or jus sumthin really minor...that u wnt even realise it...jus ur conscience picks at it till u jus feel really annoyed at urself for no reason....aaaaaarrrgghhh!! kinda feelin like that rite now....
methinks im gna end ere for now...
ps: sorry bubbles...kinda took ur train of thot... hope u dnt mind! xx noodles...r evil!lol yes they are!! cos like im hungry...havnt eaten since sandwiches last night....had two cups of tea (at uni)....n the bloody noodles are too hot!!! burnin my tongue!!! eeeeevvvvvvviiiiiiillllllllll!!!! lol....
omg jus realised im hooked on tea...not good.... had two cups already....am on my third....baddd!!
 oh well
ttfn
xxx March 19 hungryyyyyyam hungryyyyyyyy....got nuff work to dooooo.... translationnnnn aarrgghhh!!! okie am gna go..... do sum work (electricity isnt an excuse nw).....so... translation....here i cme!! xx lights out!...aarrghh i swer today was the weirdest day! well.... all the electricity went! n we had no electricity till like jus abt half an hr ago....that means it was like half 8 in the evenin....n then we got lights back....n then the water went funny too....omg i got scared that things had been stopped cos we aint paid this months rent yet...lol!... i kno....my mind likes goin in2 overdrive....lol...always thinkin the worst..... i swer tho.... im gna cry if that happens tomorro....theres nooooooo way im climbin up 12 flights of stairs to get bak in2 the flat!!! i'd die on the way up!!!!...
ummmm omg omg omg... i gotta get my work dun...lecturer is scaryyyyy.....n got examsssss aaarrggghhh!! then off to Qatar for 2 weeks!! yaaayyy!!! spoke 2 maz today.... gna see her soooon!! *big grinzzzzzzzz*
xxxxxxxxx March 17 arrgghhi guess ive realised why ive been feelin so crap....things have jus been gettin to me a little too much....im thinkin too much....n bein pretty irrational wit my thoughts..... i wish i cud make sense of things....n jus make things better....i jus wish i wasnt so irrational n aarrgghh....im gettin really annoyed wit myself...im talkin 2 avan rite now...she thinks im talkin crap too...cos like im gettin confused now too! lol... neway...hmm think im jus gna quit rambling nw...n jus wana say sorry to *u* cos of wat i said in d previous blog!
xx hhmmmmlol... i kno i said i wasnt bothered to blog anymore....but ere i am again.... guess cos i feel like ive got sumthin on my mind..n its buggin me....jus wish i cud make sense of it....i feel pretty confused on terms of certain ppl....dnt understand really wats goin on...or wher i stand wit them....like why does it seem like suddenly theres sum kinda distance between us n ive only jus realised it nw.....cud it hav been sumthin i said? but like i dnt think it cud be....cos like the last time we spoke was....maybe a week ago...n like okay...maybe im jus bein paranoid....maybe....or maybe its as ive said...jus driftin away....from friends i thot were kinda stable in my life....maybe im jus havin one of them days...or maybe im thinkin rationally for once....n realising....that probably once i get back...things WILL b different....n maybe this was jus inevitable....n all it needed was this little push..me bein outa the country n away from ppl....to realise that maybe its jus not gonna work... neway....im gna shutup nw.... mite b bak later....see hw i feel abt it.... outa ere xxxx cant b bothered...jus to let all the readers of this blog....i cant b bothered to blog anymore...so im jus gna paste a few things ere n there that i find a good read...
xx a debate...A Debate..
A Mufti sat next to a Reverend on a flight. The Rev asked the Mufti: What is your occupation? Mufti: I'm into big business Rev: But what business exactly? Mufti: I deal with God Rev: Ah, so you're a Muslim religious leader. I have one problem with you Muslims: you oppress your women. Mufti: How do we oppress women? Rev: You make your women cover up completely and you keep them in the homes. Mufti: Ah. I have a problem with you people: you oppress MONEY. Rev: What? How can one oppress money? Mufti: You keep your money hidden away, in wallets, banks and safes. You keep it covered up. Why don't you display it in public if it's a beautiful thing? Rev: It will get stolen, obviously. Mufti: You keep your money hidden because it is so valuable. We value the true worth of women far, far more. Therefore, these precious jewels are not on display to one and all. They are kept in honour and dignity.
Rev: -silence March 15 i believe.....a cute sumthin i found in my email...
I believe that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I believe that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I believe that you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life. I believe that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I believe that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I believe that you can keep going, long after you can't. I believe that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I believe that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I believe that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I believe that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I believe that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I believe that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up. I believe that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I believe that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I believe that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I believe that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I believe that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. I believe that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I believe that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I believe that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help. I believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I believe that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. And I believe in true friendship, for I believe in you! dreamz...had a really weird dream last night....cud b cos i was thinkin a little too much before i slept....but lets jus say....it was scary!!! not nitemare-ish scary....but like worrying-scary...cos it was sumthin i dnt want to happen..... arguin wit a good friend over a little thing....endin up not talkin 2 em... eek! n it was ova sumthin that was like a complete misunderstanding...n the stupid thing is... i wasnt sure whos fault it was...maybe both of ours.....but like it scared me....cos i dnt wana lose this friend!!
neway...im kinda tired...
b bak later
xxx March 14 wedding!omg...cant believe it.... safina n ibrahim got married today!!!...well it was wat they wanted n hope that theyre happy togetha inshaAllah....the nikaah took place at Qortoba...they organised evrythin for them....n it was so sweet! ibrahim's parents came from libya....n it was sooooo emotional!! like safina was all nervous abt it.... n her sis sareena looked nervous too....n saleem...saf's yunga bro was her wali (the one that gave her away)...it was sweet to see that too...cos like saleem, even tho hes younger, has grown n matured so much since i first met him... n it was really touching to see that he was the one that was there, on behalf of her.... n it was jus so cute seein the two of em together afta the nikaah was over....soooooo cute mashaAllah!!! they looked so happy together....n ibrahim's mum looked well happy too.... it was... i dnt hav words for it...ive been pretty crap at explainin all this...jus cos i cant explain evrythin in the way i want to....jus dnt hav the right words to describe (plus im pretty knackered!!!)
its jus all this marriage stuff has got me thinkin.... i kno the last time i mentioned marriage...it was on a positive perspective.....but now that i think abt it.... i really dnt think im even ready to get married....
i was talkin to tasneem abt it the otha day...n like marriage is jus not on the cards at the moment... i dnt wana think abt it....im not ready!... ive jus about learnt hw to look after myself since ive been here in egypt...i cant get married n b responsible for another person....n in the case of havin kids.... im sooo crap wit kids....i'd b mother from hell!!
i kno, i kno... gettin married is fulfilling half of ur deen n inshaAllah i wud like to do that one day.....i jus dnt think that that one day is any time soon.... i need to b sure of who i am.... n i'd like to graduate too....then see if im ready to get married....i dnt even kno wat i want in a husband....like, lol...i kno things like this come into our conversations "wats the longest length of beard u'd want on ur husband"...lol.... cos like i think, all of us sisters do want a nice practicing brother....n inshaAllah i do hope that they all find someone....the perfect one for them..... but me.... think i'll jus stay n hibernate under my rock...
marriage???.... its not for me....
xxx March 13 thoughts...well..been a few days since last entry....or was that saturday...really cant remember....not really much happnin i guess...the wonderful world of me (joke) is actually quite boring....and at the moment....am bein a complete moody cow!!...think ive had enuff of egypt...but at the same time i dnt wana leave....
its weird cos i neva really expected myself to think i'd actually like this place, and call it "home" cos, truthfully, now i do....i cant actually imagine my life back at home....things are pretty comfortable here... (plus no parents...altho i do kinda miss that).... its jus the way things have turned out.... we've (we meanin the sisters at TAFL) made a little community n becme really good friends...n alhamdulillah im glad i have....ive met n learnt from so many wonderful sisters over the last 6mths its weird to think we'll b parting n goin our own ways pretty soon...n this...egypt...will b jus like a dream....like sumthin that came n went....an experience of a lifetime!
its like...hw many ppl can say they wake up every mornin....look out accross the balcony n see the medittaranean sea (i kno thats not spelt right....lol...bein here has messed up my english big time!!)....its jus such a nice feeling...like yesterday i went out on the balcony jus nearing fajr time....like jus before the sun was rising....could feel the mornin chill...see the sea n the sky changing colour as the sun was coming up...it was so beautiful mashaAllah.... n it jus made me realise...im gonna miss this....i cant say ive done a lot ere...like on terms of travel n stuff...like yeh..went to sinai...that seems like aaages ago...n from sinai we went on to palestine...the experience of a lifetime...n been to cairo....but i havnt really dun the things i really wanted to...seen the places ive always been fascinated by...thebes, abu simbel, city of the dead....like things like that...i really wanna see...i think we're gonna go to rosetta soon inshaAllah....think thats got sum kinda french history to do wit napoleon there..not too sure...but it'll b an experience....n i think we're plannin a luxor/aswan trip soon inshaAllah too.... i really do wanna go!! think maybe the budget mite b a little tight....but hey....im here...mite as well do everythin i wanna.....n we were evn thinkin abt goin bak 2 palestine....for a little longer this time....n without the stopovers (ie: sharm, st catherines, sinai etc).... so yep inshaAllah hope that the political situation will b okay n we wont hav as much hassle at the border! sort of like a final thing to do outa the "things i wanna do before i go bak to london"....cos i kno that things, once i get bak home will b different....
n thats anotha thing that scares me....i dnt kno if ive mentioned it....but im jus scared that wat if.... wat if i go bak 2 london n things arent the same... i kno that its gna b weird goin bak 2 such a multicultural city...cos ere its arabs arabs arabs n a few foreigners here n there.... so its gna b a bit ov a culture shock! (i miss seein the diversity!) n like its gna b different on terms of social life....its like here... do wat u wanna do...go wher u wanna go...n wen u wanna... we can go smoke sheesha n chill out for hours at cafes....go to concerts that cost like nothing compared to UK prices...sumtimes even for free! so like goin bak home...is kinda scary...that i wont b able to do as much.. i wont see all the ppl ive been seeing for the last 6mths on a daily basis....the sisters n brothers from all the otha uni's.... the little jokes wit ustad fareed in lessons...to be bak in an english speakin country!! its weird! cos like ere... u cant get around speaking english... a lotta the time ppl dnt kno english...so u hav to attempt to speak (in the broken arabic i kno).... n its jus weird to think that all that is gna b over soon.... 11 weeks to b exact!! 11 weeks till the end of the term... 11 weeks till the end of this year abroad.... 11 weeks to go home..... scary!!
xxxx March 11 cricketttttttttt!!!!!!!omg omg omg....cnt belive im so out ouf touch wit the cricket scene....avan told me yesterday that there were india vs england matches goin on....but like hw am i supposed to keep up2 date wen ive got no access to watchin the matches.....welll dear watson...lol...ive found a site...wher i can watch the cricketttttttt!!! yayyyyy!!! gooooooo indiaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxx iF onLy...bleh i hate bein in anotha country....n u realise this especially wen it cmes to makin calls home.... aarrggh... was *special* friends b'day today.... decided to call.... only got to talk for a little while...6mins... n like 2 of em were all abt...."whos this".... cudnt recognise my voice.... tutz...lol..... u wait i get *u* bak for that....lol...
well jus wanted to say.... was nice talkin to u....n hope u hav a good one!
wit lotsa luv
*me!*
xxx March 10 If ReLiGioN iS OpiUm FoR tHe MaSseS........i WaNt mE SuM!!!
im bein serious!!!....the brothers n sisters (we the minority in the TAFL centre at Uni) decided that we were gonna start circles (circles meanin a time when we devote our time to learning and discussin different aspects of Islam)...[i kno... we left it a little too late...considerin we only hav like 12 weeks to the end of our time ere in Egypt.... yup...only 12 weeks!!!!]
well.... we FINALLY got together today....n alhamdulillah!! it went well!! we listend to part of a talk by Anwar Awlaki about death and the afterlife... n wow does it put things into perspective..... u dont realise a lotta things till u listen to these kinda talks... things that really open ur eyes to wats around u.... as well as personal psycho-analysis.....like u start to think abt wat ur listenin to n whether ur adapting these ideas into ur own life....only to realise that uve been so brainwashed by the ideas n ideals of western society....that, to tell u the truth... u kinda forget ur real purpose in life....
now thats a good question.... wat is the main purpose of life??... well, according to Islam... its submission.... submission to Allah....n thats it... we hav to live our lives in a way wher we are living our life according to Islam.... n yes, i kno... i hav a looong way to fully achieving that... i mean alhamdulillah i wear hijab n pray salaah n fast during ramadhaan.... but like today....for the 1st time...i really thought abt it.... n thot..."thats soo tru".... we dont think enuff about death... well... as the western ideal is... we dnt need to think abt death....its such a taboo subject... its all about living for the day..."the skys the limit"...doin wat u wanna....cos like in that mentality....u dnt think as far as death....n truthfully..i dnt think in this western ideal, there is a concept of an afterlife...
like, as muslims...we believe in the aakhirah- the afterlife....n thats wat we strive for in this life... wanting to reach a status in our lives, so that wen we die and are resurrected on the day of judgement, that we enter jannah - heaven inshaAllah.... n like its jus...i think, bein bought up as "culturally muslim" ive neva really thought abt death in the way that i hav done today.... it was kinda like liftin a veil that had been covering my mind n my thoughts n ideas....cos i can truthfully say i hav been one of them ppl who, wen crossin a road, would scream "im too young to die!!!".... but now.... i think death is sumthin that is inevitable.... i mean i thot that neway...but jus neva in the way i do now....
like one thing that was mentioned today... was that.... we are jus travellers in this world.... and death is jus a break before the afterlife.... the analogy was given of a traveller in a desert..... he sees a tree and stops a while.... but then continues on his journey...this is what our life is about... we are but travellers in this desert...and the tree at which we stop is death and the time we spend in our graves.... n the day of resurrection will be the time when we get ready n continue on our journey...to the afterlife..be that in jannah- heaven or jahannum - hell....
im sooo knackered now....i wish i cud finish this...actualy... i think im gna continue for a bit...
i jus wana say that i really hope that inshaAllah, the way i think now.. and the way i live my life will b different... ive got a lotta things i wanna achieve in my life.... n i dnt mean in the context of travellin the world or bunjee jumping...i mean on terms of imaan -faith.... and i hope that inshaAllah Allah guides me on the right path n protects me from bad deeds.... because i think theres a hadith or duaa that says Allah guides whom He wants and leaves others who reject Him, to follow the wrong path..... i jus hope that inshaAllah i will be guided and i will be rewarded for the good deeds i hav done in my life (if any) and forgive me my sins wich i hav done too...
neways... really gonna go now...gna try wake up in time to go for jummah salaah tomorro!!! (or today even)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx March 09 Some Inspiring Quotes....this is a good read....
Some Inspiring Quotes by Ash Shura Standing for what you believe in regardless of the odds against you and the pressure that tears at your resistance...means COURAGE.... Keeping a smile on your face when inside you feel like dying for the sake of supporting others...means STRENGTH... Stopping at nothing and doing what's in your heart, you know is right... means DETERMINATION... Doing more than is expected to make another's life a little more bearable without uttering a single complaint...means COMPASSION.... Helping a friend in need no matter the time or effort to the best of your ability..means LOYALTY.... Giving more than you have and expecting nothing in return...means SELFLESSNESS.... Holding your head high and being the best you know you can be when life seems to fall apart at your feet facing each difficulty with the confidence that time will bring you better tomorrows and never giving up ...means believing in yourself and Yaqin or trust in ALLAH.... So believe in yourself and trust ALLAH for a happy today and better tomorrow....dream what you want to dream... go where you want to go....be what you want to be cause you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want in life....and never forget to SMILE :) For ALLAH knows what is best for us all in HIS eyes and not in our eyes... The key to happiness is Redha... that is contentment... yayive finally added the pics i wantd to on this site!! chek em out... they all a little higgledy piggledy....lol not in order i mean....jus randomly placed....lol...so sorry theyre so random!
bbl
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