been feeling really aarrgghhh n grrr lately....those who dnt undastand wat that means...at the mo i dnt really care...lol...i dnt wna b rude...but right now...i need ME time!.....

i dunno...been thinkin alot lately...n jus like think i need a holiday...lol...dnt u dare say ANYTHIN...i kno ive been away for the last ten months....but ive had enuff of this place...maybe ive jus had enuff of this lifestyle...i dunno... its jus hard gettin bak into the flow again.....

neways..i gta run...got a thingyummjig to go to...mehndi thingy...

but before i go...one last thing i wanna say (and i kno avan's gna kill me for it).... i wanna get married!!! (any offers? lol)

xx

u always appreciate a good thing wen its gone....

really do miss bein in egypt...i kno its probs gna b like scorchingly hot n stuff...but like it jus feels weird bein bak...hearin ppl around speakin english.... bein around old school friends again! (btw thanx 2 everyone and esp sana for the party yesterday)

i miss talkin in arabic! thats the thing...its like im cravin to speak...cos i kno that the less i do...the worse my arabics gna get....n i cant afford to do that....

dnt kno why....but i really wish i was back....feel like things were easier there...dnt hav 2 worry abt so much... dnt hav 2 worry abt ppl so much.....like i duno....jus feel like nw...i hav 2 make more of an effort....but i really dnt want to.....not cos im lazy....but cos i kno that im gna b the one always initiating, always makin the effort....i had to do that wen i was away....n im gna hav 2 do tht now...n really....i cant b bothered....not cos i dnt love my friends...cos i do...care for em loads....but wen its not mutual effort....u get tired....n im feelin like that...im tired....

plus...feelin on a complete spiritual low...im tryin to keep up...but i jus cant....feel like its all goin dwnhill...everythin i learnt....well...it jus feels like it.... guess that mya hav been partly cos of the company....its like truthfully..ive neva been surrounded by so many practicin muslims before...n like altho i do hav practicin friends...its neva been on a day to day basis as it was in egypt....like it wasnt always idle chit chat.... well sumtimes it was...but a lotta the time...islam was always in the conversation.....n i do miss that....even jus hearin the Qur'an in taxis, shops....outdoors.....i miss that!...

neways...im not gna get more nostalgic....cos its already depressin me....

me outa ere

xxxxx

feels weird bein back home...got back sunday....n like....altho it seems like ive been away for so long..at the same time...feels like i neva left....had a bit of trouble at both airports....felt like sumthin or sum1 had sumthin against me...lol...had to pay £200 at the airport in egypt....n then a suitcase went missing at heathrow....didnt get it bak till today....was sooooo stressed abt it!! but alhamdulillah..... as they say....fa sabrun jameel..... so yeh.... i was patient (and stressed, lol)....n alhamdulillah....suitcase was returned! *BiG gRin n JuMps uP n DwN* lol...

nothings missin alhamdulillah....but the suitcase was massacred...wicheva idiot it was that picked it up....or the aiport authorities (me's not sure who) cut the thing up! like hw stooopid can u get cuttin up a suitcase!!! uffffff!!!!

anyways...ummmm think thats enuff for now..

kinda miss egypt.... but the weathers been nice...so alhamdulillah im not missin it too much....yet... its jus little things that remind me of the place... ya masr...i miss u!

okies am gna go now...

xxxx

yikes!! cant believe it! im goin home tomorro!!! yayyyy!!!!! been packin n stuff the last coupla days... im a lil stressed abt the luggage....but inshaAllah hope it'll go thru...dads gna kill me if i have to pay extra!!! but gna keep prayin....swer im already suffering from travel anxiety...n im not even goin until tmro!....

me cooked today...well...not actually cooked as yet....jus put the fish to marinate....gna hav fish wit veggies wit lunch...hope it tastes okay....

am a lil stressed.... landladys comin ova tonight to see the flat!! aarrggh!!! she seems okay tho....spoke to her yestrday.... docturah asmaa'.... she seems like a nice lady....but think she thought i was leavin today...so told her am leavin sunday mornin..hope she doesnt kick me out like wat happend wit triska!!! inshaAllah.....

anyways... betta go...

xxx

i swer my dad annoys me....he can b sooooo bloody rude at times i wish he wud change his attitude.... its like jus now...he was makin stupid comments and laughing abt this guy who was cross eyed....laughin at the fact that it looked like the guy was lookin at sum1 else wen he was talkin to my dad.... like wats so funny abt that???? its times like this wen i really wish he wud change his point of view abt such things....aarrgghh.....uff...*gone*

feelin a little low today....cant wait to get home now...it jus feels like this needs to cme to an end....

found a really nice recitation that was posted on the uponsunnah website....by an administrator methinks....its by a brother called ahmad al-halabiyah....theres only one surah tho....surah furqan....its sooo beautiful tho....!!

(methinks me gna hav 2 find a hubby who recites nicely ...lol..othawise me not gna b impressed...lol...mona shutup...)

anyways...me out

xx

 

ps: no that doesnt mean i wana get married anytime soon...i think  *me's confused*

sunhanAllah..! i knew that islam wud hav an explanation for evrything....but neva thot that there wud ACTUALLY be an explanation for the bermuda triangle....but seems like there is!!

jus got back from natacha's n we were talkin abt things....n this is actually in a hadith...and a strong one at that....i cant really remember which one nishaar quoted it from....but oh well.... its basically...there is actually an island in that area...and some people actually came accross that island in the time of the prophet Mohammad (saw).... i cant remember the story fully (partly cos im nt feelin too well)... but basically....there was a group of sailors who sumhow got shipwrecked and ended up on this island...they came accross a woman who had loads of eyes (or sumthin along them lines) and she said to them to go to a hut behind her... they went in and there was a man chained in the hut....and only had one eye (no, not like a cyclops, one eye was there, the otha area was jus skin or sumthin)....and he asked a few questions... like whether certain occurances had happend as yet...one of the sailors replied no...and the chained man said "its not my time yet" or sumthin like that....the sailors left the hut, and spoke to the woman again...n she said sumthin like "u cannot see this island, no one can" and sumthin abt havin sum kinda power/energy force.... or sumthin...omg this sounds so weird n random...wish i cud find the actual thing...actually...maybe i can! im gna chek the uponsunnah forums!! and properly put in the hadith inshaAllah....but seriously... jus discussin that today...really explains alot...well....im convinced!!

xx

im in pain....as triskali said.... i "tripped gracefully" lollll..... n now my ankle feels like its... oh i dunno....jus feels like its in painnnnnn!! i can jus about walk.... n dads such an angel...he massaged it for me AND offered to cook! me feels guilty now.... but i guess this is givin me an opportunity to do a bit more packin (yeh right! lol)..... no really... i will start packin...or more like finish packin.... its crazy the amount of stuff ive got...its scarin me! lol!

anyways...i shud make a move....packin here i cme!!

~yayyyyy me comin home soooon!~ *tries to jump up n dwn but in too much pain* ouch ouch ouch lol

xx