omg..im bored....soooooo boreddddddddddddddddddddd....!!!!!!!!!!!!! (for once)

 

it feels like it was aaaages ago tht i saw Tessa (which was actually a week ago)....its like everytime we see eachother time goes too quick....n, as Tessa says when we're departing..."its just as tho we've jus had a day of uni n we'll b seein eachother in lecture tomorrow..." ... only to realise..thats not really the case... :(

had such a nice day tho...we went to eat at a lil restaurant, then had sheesha....n then starbucks...lol...then spent ages in Primark..lol...bumped into Tehmeena wich was nice too :) ... oh n loooll...we went into the Arabian Oud shop...sniffed a few perfumes...n had some sweets from there! hehe...oh n then bought sum perfume...no,not from arabian oud..cant afford that stuff...lol!!

 

ive spent most of my day at home today...lie...not most..ALL...i was supposed to go into work..but wasnt feelin too well...so spent some time emailing work...lol..jenab's leaving this week...so we were tryin to sort sumthin out for her...jus nt gettin anywher... uggh... :(

 

dads jus walked in..hes dancing to the "imperial" advert...lol..

 

ugghhhhh im sooooo boreddddd!!!!!......lol!

 

wud it b sad to say im kinda lookin frwrd to work tomorrow....lol

 

im gna go now...i cnt b botherd to type nw...lol

 

xx

im back...

why im nt so sure...

guess cos i gt stuff on my mind n jus need to get it off my chest...

ive been thnkin...n i kno its impossible..but i really wish i cud turn back time...

why? cos theres things in my life tht i really regret..or things i wish neva happend...n if i had the chance to go back n change that...then i wud...

at the same time...i wish i cud turn back time n still be in egypt..kinda miss the freedom...tht mite sound weird...its nt like i abused the freedom...but its jus at that point in time...i didnt have anythin to worry abt...wen i wanted to go out...i cud..i didnt have to answer to anyone..or tell em when im gna b home...n its been so hard tryin to settle bak into normal life...im still findin it hard...sum ppl dnt seem to want to understand tht....its like...if uve always had freedom...its nt really sumthin ur gna miss...n yeh..i undastand tht if uve been independent for a while, it can b hard to settle back into a "normal" lifestyle tht u mite have been out of...jus sumtimes feel like its sum kinda competition...or like "im finding it harder to settle bak in than u did"...or more like "i dnt really wanna listen to what u say...wat i say counts"...

ive gotten to a point where im tryin nt to care anymore abt such petty things..but sumtimes these things do get to me...

today ive realised one thing today...i really need to stop dwelling in the past...man thts a complete contradiction to what i said at the beginning..one min i wanna go back in the past...the next min i dnt wana....its stupid...i kno...but hey..either way...the only thing i CAN do is stop dwelling in the past, cos its nt like i cn really turn back time...

uggh am sooo annoyed with myself...i wanna delete S from my msn list...but i hate deleting ppl!! evn tho it kills me to see him online...uggghhh i hate myselfff!!

actually...i jus done it...i cudnt take it anymore...guess its a good thing in some way...dnt have to see the display pic everytime he logs on... *fake smile*

neway...better get off...had otha things i wanted to go on abt..but its nearly maghrib time...so till nxt time i guess...

xxx

 

 

ive decided to have another rant today... a mini one at that...but still...a rant...lol...

i swear....ever since public transport/bus journeys were made free for under 16's its as tho all buses in london are infested with schoolkids!!! uggghhh!!! its sooo annoyin...i kno i kno...i shud consider..n think..yes once...ONCE upon a time...i was a kid too..but im pretty sure i wasnt as inconsiderate as kids nwadays....

its like this morning....im havin a mini internal fit..cos i kno tht, once again, im gna b late for work...yes yes...i kno..thts nt smthin to be proud of...but wat delays my journey more is the fact tht these school kids dnt understand the concept of "move to the back of the bus,  use all the space available" its like theres me tryin to squeeze thruu nooks n crannys (wich is a mission n a half!) but atleast i make the effort of TRYIN to move dwn so others can get on the bus too...but nooooo...idiotic kids jus dnt care....i swear i wud sooooo love if they had to start payin again..!! then it wud be a HA in ur face! moment..cos then the bus wont b so crammed in the morning...

hehe..ok thts rant over...i feel a little better nw...ive been bottling tht up inside all day...well technically i havent...cos me n "Jenab" at wrk were tlkin abt it...

man im gna miss her...shes soooo lovely..really reminds me off Tessa in some ways.... i love em both!!  shes off to Yemen soon inshaAllah...its gna b weird without her...!  we've made like a lil habit of runnin away from wrk togetha n munchin in different places...lol...we went n tried the caribbean cuisine one day...then to griller..n recently we've discovered an algerian cake shop/cafe! yummmm!!  (not all in one day by d way lol)...

Oh yeh...had a drivin test coupla weeks ago...wich..im sure u cn tell...i DIDNT pass...but oh well...3rd time lucky!? inshaAllah..lets hope so!!

its been so weird...its like everyone i kno is either gettin married...or havin a baby...well im happy for em all...cnt complain...i hav family n friends..wat more do i need...for nw atleast...

truthfully..dnt think i'd really wanna b in a relationship with anyone..ive seen wat it does to ppl...n i jus think..if thts wat bein in "love" does to u...then i dnt wana b in love...

Things otherwise have been okay...i think...its been an emotional rollercoaster of some type...somtimes dnt really kno if im comin or goin..or dnt kno wats goin on in my head..it gets confusing...and pretty depressing at times too..

i kno i shudnt admit to it...but i really miss S...i dnt kno...there was sumthin abt the friendship we shared tht i miss..the times we both "attempted" to speak in arabic lol...the jokes...the phone calls...the arguments even...but hey...thts life...n its gta go on...so *slaps self* bak to reality...

Saw Sal recently...more than once..must b my lucky month...i love seeing her..cos its like even tho we dnt see eachother often, its always like we only saw eachother last week....i miss her loads...n shes gettin married soon too inshaAllah...so one more friend gettin hitched...

i dnt kno...shud i b depressed abt these things? i dnt think i really am...i think i jus think too much....n sometimes let the little things get to me...

well inshaAllah gt a few things to look frward to...J's engagement in preston...the retreat with work at lake district...holiday...n coupla more weddings...thts Sal n Uzzi's....only thing im nt lookin frwrd to is gettin dressed up (fr the occasions) and gettin wet n mucky (on the retreat lol)....but inshaAllah it'll all be an experience...

oh theres one more thing i wanted to mention.... i kno there hav been times ive said negative things abt my parents...n i really regret it nw...feel like a bit of an idiot really...there are times when u realise tht ur parents really wud do anythin for u....n ive come to tht realisation jus recently....i dnt really wanna get into details...but i jus wanna say alhamdulillah i love my parents..theyve really helped me get thru this thing n i really dnt kno wat i wudve done without their help..i mite nt always show it...but i really do...

newayssssssss....i better get sum sleep... gt 8am start..woooo(!) lol

xxxxx